If you have ever had an opportunity to see a sports game from the skybox of a stadium, it's clear why the analyst critiques the game from that point of view. They can see all. They can see all the pieces moving and break down what went wrong or worked. For the purpose of this game, I have a seat in the skybox. I'm unbiased and have no skin in the game. Being happily married for 32 years makes me uniquely positioned to see the field of play from the skybox. For this reason, I offer my critique of what's wrong between black men and black women.
Because what I will say pertains to both black men and black women and is, in fact, just an appeal to your common sense, I wouldn't expect much in the way of competing opinions or pushback on my position.
Never once in my 55 years of life have I solved a problem by focusing outward and blaming others for my issues. For a person looking to fix a problem and not just place a band-aid on a gaping wound, the natural way to fix a problem is to improve how you react, perceive and address the stimulus.
Since men and women spend their entire existence responding to the actions of the opposite sex regarding relationships, It's pretty simple to see that telling the other sex what's wrong with them does little to nothing to fix the actual problem. Since men and women are reactionary to one another, common sense should lead us to the understanding that changing the behavior of the opposite sex is only achievable by changing our behavior. Let us look at it from a business perspective. Let's imagine I am the only company that sells scissors. For the sake of the example, let us also imagine that your company is the only one that needs scissors. If I keep giving you free scissors, sure, you're getting what you need, but you have taken away any incentive for me to provide you with what you need to continue being in business.
To make it simple to follow, If you give men what they need before securing what you need, this diminishes the likelihood that they will ever get what you need. Women fix your issues, and men will resolve their issues. Men fix your problems, and women will resolve their issues.
Just a view from the skybox.