THREADS Online #10
Growing up I was so FUCKING ANGRY
Never understood why God ain’t save me
Hated all these fucked up cards that he gave me
Prayer after prayer wishing he’ll come and take me
Inside I felt like I was dying
Wished the tears stop falling
But I can't stop crying
Head is pounding
And my heart aches
Sick of walking around with a smile
After a while it ain’t hard to fake
They say, God don’t make mistakes
Well that’s hard to believe
When all this pain I endured, lives inside of me
Done hurting, I just want it to leave
To end the voices in my head
I swallowed a bottle of pills
That way I won’t have to feel
What it’s like to hate myself
Maybe I’ll slit my wrists too
So I won’t have to face the fact that I think, I’m ugly & fat
Or how much I hate to be, black
Growing up, life was whack
But I refuse to take it back
All the self harm I did
Was because love never showed up for me, as a kid
This is my story, I write it proudly
Tomorrow if I wake up I know then that love, has found me
My whole existence, it was all around me
-Sierra M. D.
